IMAGINE

Longing for you, wanting you near
Waiting for you, so I could hear
This emptiness inside of me
Hope you'll take the time to see

I can only see your image in my dreams
Appearance of such nothing but a gleam
I can only imagine your tender kisses
There I can touch each and all the creases

I'd rather close my eyes and see what I want
There I can moan, I can scream, I can pant
Through the covers of my lids
I can always see where this leads

The night becomes what's right
Your concept will come to light
I can call you with every beckoning
Just as I imagine, you’ll always be coming

Never wanted the morning to occur
Beside you, besides the night, I know I want more
Each and every time we can resume
Through the night we can easily commune

Imagine what we are, Imagine who we are
Imagine how we can, Imagine just how much
How we could get there, how we could return
Imagine how I wish everything to be real

UN-DUET

Duet has lost its harmony
One heart was left in agony
The other one has moved on
Left the song played on its own

One has lost the tune picks
The other has forgotten the lyrics
The song has lost its significance
As the artists lost their balance

“G’s” were the good times now were gone
“F” is what’s left, from failure to none
The keys were off, the strings break off
The music faded with the hearts broken up

Duet outstripped its intended melody
The flow was missed and so was the empathy
Without the right strokes, can never be played
Since one has betrayed, can never be saved

Duet has lost its orchestration
The voices went on opposing directions
Without the strength of sincere accord
The song could no longer play on its own

©(08-2007)

A FANTASY

I am your fantasy
Helps your dream, an inspiration
I enlighten your hectic days
By giving you a nightingale

I live in your mind but never in your soul
Whenever you’re not alone, you never needed to call
But as soon as you’re done, back to your empty shell
You started calling out and casting your spells

I am a soul, in bone, flesh and blood
However still transparent, you made me very sad
In reality of non-existence I must rest
In your dreams, in leading role, I’m all of it, a zest

I am so not alive, you can never be in love
I will wait for night in stall, to feel your heart as it falls
I am a fantasy, an imagination when you’re awake
I still am in your sleep, a dream ‘till you wake

I once, on your door, I knock and rang your bell
But I stood there for hours, as you pretend you weren’t there
I call on a lot of times I’m loud but never heard
I am no one but a fantasy, now that I remembered

I am a fantasy, shouldn’t feel, can’t be real
I am just fun-to-see, like a romance on a reel
I’m an artist’s masterpiece, an Al Pacino’s “Simone”
I am just a creation, in writings I am known

I am walking back to where I belong
Wait ‘til you want me, however it takes long
I am a relief, to your saddened heart, you buy
I am just a fantasy, later on you’ll say goodbye
©(02-2007)

A SECOND FIRST KISS

Walking away from past
From a love I thought would last
This soul of mine survives
As a new love has arrived

The wound in time may heal
Still at times it stings
Yet starting again to feel
As my heart begun to sing

You brought a second first love
You gave a second first kiss
What else is there to have?
That I’d never want to miss

On waves of hurt I sunk
In tears I almost drowned
Then finally made it back
As I felt your arms surround

In darkness, the loneliness won
The night seemed never calms
Will this ever be “the one?”
As tomorrow promised to come

You brought a second first love
You gave a second first kiss
What else is there to have?
That I’d never want to miss

You brought a second twist
Of fate when we had tryst
The moment of what was bliss
Is a taste of such sweetest kiss
©(07-2007)

Exclamation

Exaggeration of quotations
Validation of one’s question
Interjecting a statement
Paraphrasing an argument

Outbursts of some anger
Clashes of inner thunder
Bewilderment, astonishment
Elation, exaltation

A rocking fright or fear
Anxiety, pain or tears
Dreadful, sorrowful
Scornful, mournful

Eruption of excitement
Ejaculation of a sentiment
In the heart of romantic night
It’s the peak of the lovers’ height

A point that must be taken
A stale may well be shaken
Emphasis on a guidance gist
A thud on someone’s guilt

Powerful, vehement
Intensified, so sudden
Excessive, overrated
Extreme, exclamation!

©(07-2007)

TONIGHT

In the night, with the moonlight
Seeping through the gaps of my window shutters,
I thought of you.
For several days I haven't heard from you
The loneliness insisted in me
...until tonight
As the cool calm air softly blowing on my skin
Shivers through my spine
I felt your hands in mine, touching, stroking, caressing
Fingertips, harping, teasing every fibers of my body hairs
Tonight, you are with me, beside me and hovering over me
I can hear your whispers, calling my sweet name
Uttering words of love, moaning through the flames of excitement
I gave in, allowing every move you make
Setting my self free, opening myself to you
"Read me, heed me, hear me, see me"
My lips got wet from your sensuous kiss
The taste of your mouth as we inhale each other's breath
You called upon my soul, you reached within my heart
Wrapping your arms around me, you were engaging with my spirit
Your strength lifted me up; your weight pushes me down
Carrying me to the winds, taking me to sky
With your thrusts and my gyrations
"Come with me, be one with me, become me"
The moment you got inside of me, I exalted and I screamed
I had you within my being, in every minute of my nature
Soaked body in passion, blazing ardor, raining in every grip
You brought me to seventh heaven, celebrating our union
The tremors of our making, the explosion of orgasms
"You are with me my darling; I am with you my sweetheart"
It's almost dawn when I opened my eyes
Suddenly all around is empty
The moon hid behind the clouds,
The glow in the room becomes so sad
You are not here, and I am alone again.
But knowing you can come at night
I can't wait for tonight to come....once more
Then I can make love with you all over again…
TONIGHT

©(07-2007)

The Scented Candle

Romantic glow of a lit scented candle
Burning Jasmine and Rose
Giving it's best to soothe the aching heart
And relieve the mind from confusion
Tears in my eyes, palms cold as ice
In the heat of Summer Skies, the night seemed hollow and cold
Where is the body that warms me up?
The arms that wrap around me?
Your kisses that calms my staggered soul?
The whispers, the breath, the touch?
Where are you? And all these things you give to me?
The candle wax were all melted
Yet, the loneliness I felt inside have not surpassed
I need you, I long to be with you
I never wanted the scent of my hair to be forgotten
My smile that used to tickle your heart
The sensuous kiss, the feel of my skin
I want you to remember always
I am here, I still am
Never had left through an open door
I refused to leave
I prefer to sit here and wait
Until you find your way back to my empty shell
And begin filling me up
Then and here another candle will be lit

©(07-2007)

YOU'RE STILL THE ONE

You're still the one
The love that I want
The one that I believe
To whom I want to give

You're still the one
My joy and sunshine
The warmth I seek
The thoughts I keep

You're always be the one
I want to run to if I can
Where my soul wishes to go
Where my love deeply grows

You can also be the one
Make me cry when you’re down
Upset me all as bad
If you're angry or just mad

You're still the one
I see, I hear, I feel
Should you ever disappear
I'll die in pain of I can't bear

You're still the one
The one that I love
The one that I want

The one and all I’ve got

©(06-2007)

WHO WILL YOU BE?

I am the one that sees right through
And sees the bad and good in you
Who laughs at your silly jokes
Who cries when we haven’t spoke

I am the one that feels you most
Who keep you near, and warm in frost
Who desires you in every night
Who dreams of you 'til daylight

I am the one who loves true
The one that wish to have you
You, that I ever long to be with
The one whose touch I crave and need

Now that you know who I am
Now that you see what I am
Now that you hear what I say
Now, then who will you be?
©(06-2007)

I AM AS YOU

I am the seed, you are my water
I am the rain, you are the cloud
I am the light and you're the sound
I am to life, you be my air

I am the cause as you are the reason
I am the purpose you are the way
I am at present, with you tomorrow
I am your heart, you are my soul

I am the woman, you are my man
I am the smile, you are the happiness
I am the eyes, you are the sight
I am a flower, you are the soil

I am your half, you are my whole
I am your thoughts, you are my senses
I am your touch, you are my feel
I am your path, you are my destiny

I am your strength, you are my stability
I am your feet, you are my body
I am your luck, you are my love
I belong to you, and you are to me

I won’t survive another
Day without you, lover
I love you dear beloved
‘Til my life at its end

©(03-2007)

Uncertainty

Uncertain of what is to say
Of what’s to ask, or how to state
The heart may knew of what its hold
But what’s to be heard must not be told

Uncertain train of thoughts
Flipping decks of cards
Figuring out the odds
Will I bet or fold?

Uncertain of move to make
What are the risks to take?
Could come up the way hoped for
Or be gone the joys I had before

Uncertain feelings of what you have
Is it spring fling, or is it love?
Only this I ponder for days
I won’t wonder if you’ll just say

What I wish to feel, what I want to see
Is that I belong to you just as you to me
What I hope to have, what I long to hear
Is that you’ll say “I love you” just before you kiss me

…‘Til then I would remain uncertain
©(08-2007)

What Lies Beneath

Behind the pretty smile
The hurt was kept inside
Behind the sparkled eyes
Held up tears ready to cry

There’s a hole in the heart
Perhaps a tick can rip it apart
So hard to hold what’s all within
The one who fits refused to get in

Covered with bright blue sunny sky
Clustered rain begging for its hour
Like how some sweet could turn just sour
And spoil the moments when hope runs dry

After all the day of laughter
A night’s shrill insisted thereafter
No one’s around to see it through
The ghost that lies beneath is true

All’s hidden from appealing face
The silent woes will never be traced
Denying desires to mourn than cheer
Just chose to please the enjoying peers

Behind the beautiful smile
The oozing pain all kept inside
Behind those glorious eyes
Overflowing tears can no longer hide
©(08-2007)

The Way You Are

I just like...
The way you smile
And all the stars
Along conspire

I just want...
The way we dance
Just as the wind
Begin its trance

I just love...
The way you touch
Just as the golden moon
Harps the blue lagoon

I just miss...
Your sweetest kiss
Your warm embrace
Just as the sun’s morning grace

I just like...
I just miss...
I just love...
The way YOU are
©(08-2007)

To The One I Love

No promises that I would swear
But truthfulness to you I bear
For we are living in this real world
Only honesty counts in my every word

No miracles I can perform
Can’t change any shape, shift any form
Your life as destined by GOD
Only prayer where he led you’ve trod

No piano to play, can’t pluck a guitar
Can’t lead an orchestra, I ‘m not a superstar
Your ears much appreciated the popular
Only I’ll sing, in your sleep I could do as far

No sonnets, no lyrics, no poem, no ode
I am not Homer, Pindar, Poe, not Shakespeare
Your thoughts are divine in literature
Only love letters, may your heart be captured

No diamonds, emeralds, rubies and sapphires
Can’t match up the elegance, sparkles of your eyes
Your vision so sublime, the one I most admire
Only my views, I will share should you desire.

No past for reminiscing,
No future foretelling
Your love to speak of me today
Only my soul you keep as I say…..”I LOVE YOU”

©(03-2007)

Tell Me

Your body is burning hot fire
But I felt thy heart so cold as ice
You made me wonder how
Then make me question why

Your lips are kissing, oh dear so lovingly
Though your eyes I read but see were empty
I really want to know now
Say the words erase my doubts

Your hug is always suffocating tight
Although your thoughts are lost in sight
Please my darling answer me that
For my calculations are null, I can’t do the math.

You hold my hand and don’t want to let go
But in no direction, you drag me below
Do you really want me to be with you?
Or just a dream I have to wake to?

Come home my sweetheart and make love to me
My fear is escalating, please don’t let it be.
Am I gonna be your Cinderella
Or just an Alice, a wondering bella.

Will you beloved the one I met yesterday
Be the love of my life today, ‘til the rest of my days
Just say the answer, please love, tell me now.
If you say “I am”, then to you I’ll give my vow.

©(12-2006)

Love, Love, Love

The best feeling ever
Sometimes, a troublemaker
The one that create laughter
The same one making tears

The reason for living
Ending with dying
Starting a new day
Staying with age

Infinity, Indivisibility
Admirations, inspirations
Dreams of what may come
Streams of what have become

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE
Each one wished to have
The one we ought to give
The breath, must while we live

(06-2007)

All That I Am

It’s 3 A.M
Here I am
Thinking of you
Misses you, too

What will I say
To make you stay
I begged and I prayed
You still walked away

Oh, please hear my call
Oh, don’t let me fall
Here I am
All that I am
Loving you true
All that I am

One more chance
To touch your hand
Look into my eyes
They never have lied

It’s 3 A.M
Still, here I am
With pictures of you
With my world now so blue

Oh, please hear my call
Oh, don’t let me fall
Here I am
All that I am
Loving you true
All that I am

Oh, please hear my call
Oh, don’t let me fall
See, here I am
And all that I am
Loving you true
With all that I am

Here I am
Just all that I am…
(04-2007)

Chambers of One True Love

Do you know that love is divided into chambers just like your heart organ itself? If a human heart has auricles and ventricles, one true love is chambered into four: the mind, heart, body and soul. What if someone tells you "I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU" but never hug or kiss, wouldn't you doubt it? What if someone always express it to you but never tells you, would you rely on it? What if someone says, "I LOVE YOU" but pertains to someone as his or her soul mate, wouldn't you question it? Can a love lacking any of these four elements still be considered "true love"? A love that never speaks the mind (without the mind), is like a heart- filled abundance of joy with a pinch of sorrow. A love that only speaks the mind (without the heart), is like a best-seller fiction that would never be proven true. Just as a love that never touches (without the body), is the sweetest kiss with a sour after-taste. And a love that can't unite (without a soul), is an exotic capo de monti masterpiece that is always hollow and empty inside that might shatter into bits and pieces under pressure. Imagine your heart with a missing ventricle...well you probably wouldn't be able to because you won't survive for long. Let's say with the miracle of Science you will be able to live for a week...how does your body cope with it? Restrictions, breathing problems, chest discomforts, weakness and death. Think about love in the same situation, lacking one of it's major components...how does your love survive?

Too Hot!!!

Most of my friends from East Coast find it amusing whenever I complain about the weather in California. For most states in the United States, California seems to have the most favorable climate. That didn't matter, not being able to experienced extensive climatic variations in other places, the heat of California summer is bad enough to squeeze my sweat glands and dry up my mucosal linings. Water, sure it helps; ice cream, oh yes it sure does helps. As a matter of fact, I went to this nearby diner, Denny's at 132nd Street in Hawthorne and after ordering my steak lunch with slices of tomatoes, I ordered an Oreo sundae. It was so good that I finished it to the last spoon; only to have taken another walk back home with a couple of plastic bags from Rite-Aide Drug Store where I bought some scotch tapes, Kleenex tissues and antacids. That was a very good afternoon walk for me under the sun. Sometimes I take walks to allow myself to get to think about things. I don't know why walking helps us think things thoroughly. I have a room to myself but it was still different when I am using my feet along with my brain cells activities. I had a few things that need to get straighten out and therefor needed to be thought of. So there was I on a Saturday stroll, having a good time of my life under the heat of the summer skies. Oh God, it was so hot!

Middle of the Road

What I have felt this week was rather indescribable. I barely blog but it seems like writing about how I feel actually helps me balance myself. I see every angle of my current life with all unfinished businesses. From love life to career, nothing seemed to be in order. I found myself in the middle of the intersecting roads not knowing which way to take; I was distraught, perhaps depressed and all i did was slumped like a rotund and stayed at the center of them all. I have mixed feelings of sadness, irritation and confusion. I have many questions I don't have answers for and still try to figure out how to get solutions to these equations. I normally write poems to free myself from these clusters, but lately I couldn't come up with anything. This is somehow the reason I end up writing this musing. I knew that talking to friends can always help, but I am the type of person who prefer keeping things to myself. However, I tried it this time, talked to someone not really close to me but I have a huge respect for her and see her more of a leader than a close friend. But I trusted her, for my own personal reason I do...trust her. I wrote her a letter, told her most of my troubles, not in details but she is a very intelligent woman, and writing a litany of them all wouldn't be necessary and she respects my way of disclosing myself to her. She didn't suggest probable solutions, she is not the dictating type that would tell you what should or shouldn't be done about them. She just lend me her ears, allowed me to use my voice then finally gave me her understanding, not judgement, pure understanding. So magical that I felt a lot better after few exchanges of emails. My problems still need to be taken care of, but that's not the point here, it's how I felt about them before and after I have talked to her. Now I am still in the middle of the road, only this time, choosing which way to go wouldn't be difficult to decide on anymore. My sincerest thanks to her.

When I am There No More

There are so many things for me to say
There’s so little life left in me
When you look at me and say “I love you”
I will whisper in your ears, “I love you, too.”

My warm breath will touch your ears
You’ll look around to see if I am there
A soft wind will pass you by
Telling you that I’m no more there

Yonder in the stars, you gazed
Somewhere there I am now a star
Shining at you with my twinkling lights
Telling you how much I care

I am up there so high
But I can see you wherever you are
Loving you forever after I part
From this wonderful world where you are there

By: Prabir Sen (11-2005)
(Permission to post given 05-07)

Kapag Ako'y Wala Na

(Inspired by Original Lyrics "When I am There No More" by Prabir Sen)

O, kay daming nais sabihin
Ngunit buhay ko’y kay ikli
Mga tingin mong nagsasabing ako’y iniibig
Sa iyo ibubulong kong ika’y mahal ko rin

Ang aking tinig ay iyong maririnig
Susundan mo pa ng tanaw
Sa malambing na hanging iyong madarama
Alam mo na diya’an, ako ay wala na.

Sa kalangitan iyong tanawin
Doon ako’y isa nang bituin
Na magniningning sa iyong mga paningin
Upang malaman mong ika’y mahal pa rin

Mula sa kalangitan, ika’y tanaw
Saan ka man naroroon
Pag-ibig ko sa yo, kahit na pumanaw
Mula sa daigdig mo ngayon

Sa kalangitan ikaw tumanaw
Masdan mo ako’y isa nang bituin
Sa king mga ningning, sa iyong mga tingin
Sana’y malaman mong ika’y mahal pa rin

Mula sa kalangitan, ako’y tumatanaw
Saan ka man maparoon
Pag-ibig ko sa yo, kahit na sa pagpanaw
Sa iyong mundo noon at hanggang ngayon

Ibulong mo

Kung hindi mo masabi
Mabigkas ng mga labi
Sa mata mo iparating
Nais mong ipabatid

Maging sa haplos ipadama
Bumabagabag na mga gunita
Iintindihan kita sinta
Basta’t sa akin ay ipakita

Ano bang nasa sa loob
Tama kaya ang aking kutob
Pag-ibig ba ang tinitibok
O ito’y ating pagsubok

Ako’y lalapit sa iyo aking mahal
Ating ipagdiwang, araw ng ating kasal
Pagkayari’y iuusal mga kataga ng pagmamahal
Habang ibinubulong mo na ako ang iyong mahal

Whenever, Wherever

When times get tough on you,
Always remember you can come to me too.

When you are down and depressed
Don't hesitate, here I am, you can express

When you're angry or upset
I can calm you down, you bet

When you are weak and sick
My hands can cure and do a magic trick

When you are happy and satisfied
I can get you merrier and magnified

When you're anxious and worried
I am near to tend your need

When you're away and isolating
I will allow the space but will be here waiting

When you decide to leave and say goodbye
I will wish you the luck with my heart you carry on by

When you long for me at night and wish I am there
I will be in your dreams, through the night I will share

When you wake up in the morning and still missing me
Say my name within your heart then I'll feel you're kissing me

(05-2007)

Only I Can

(A dedicated poem to Audrey Stabler)

I can not promise
Things you ever wish
Only I can say
Every night a pray’r

I can never make
Miracles, magic
Only I can break
Silence as I speak

I can’t really heal
Lift the dizzy spells
Only I can empathize
‘Til your aches and pain subsides

I can’t run nor fly,
Wish I could stop by
Only I can spend with you
Times to sit and talk with you

I can’t guarantee
Everlasting glee
Only I can dare place
Smile on your pretty face

I can’t be your sister
May makes it all better
Only I can give my share
A friend who will always care

(05-2007)

My Reflection

To see the real me
In your eyes I have to see
Specks of Colors in the orbit
Nothing but me, head to feet

The auburn vertical strands
Long hair with L’Oreal brand
The mixture of mauve and red
Lips of mine with Dior blends

Bits of green and streaks of yellow
Under the moonlight is how my skin glows
The ocean blue that floats and flicks
My eyes in your cornea same way they blink

Gold and champagne at the rays of sun
Reflected through your lens, kicks within your glands
Round hazels, dilate and constrict
Peaks of the hills as you stare at their matrix

(05-2007)

CHALLENGE

It’s been over a decade
Since you last have graduated
Your diploma was almost torn
Still don’t know which way to turn

Your face has more lines
It never feels “just fine”
Like running out of time
Yet never had the prime

Trying this and tried on that,
Which of which and how is what
Break of the dawn, flip of a calendar
Another day, another year, what have you gotten so far?

Doesn’t really matter where you’ve been, what you’ve done
Leave the past behind, all the things that all have gone
Live for this day as you learn from your mistakes
Make the most of it, whatever it may take

Misleading ambitions
Prodded with premonitions
Dreams you wished, answers to seek
On any tree can never be picked

The triumph you aspired
On a piece of paper you may acquire
Though you’ve lost most of your hair,
The world you’re on will still be unfair

Listen to your heart
It will tell you what you want
If you follow as it says
You will have the brightest day

Doesn’t really matter where you’ve been, what you’ve done
Leave the past behind, all the things that all have gone
Live for this day as you learn from your mistakes
Make the most of it, whatever it may take

How about this for your challenge?

(04-2007)

My Easter Eggs

This morning I woke up at seven
I have a good night sleep, almost heaven
It is Sunday today, I know
There is no rain, no hail nor snow

It’s the day of a celebration
Recognition of world’s salvation
As Christ suffered and died on the cross
Today He has risen, it’s Easter all across

Children are dressed in pastels with bunny ears
While Dads and Uncles keep eggs for their peers
Dollar bills, jelly beans, sour drops and chocolates
Encapsulated inside for egg hunting “escapades”

Search hi and lo, all around, to and fro
Whoever got the most will be considered a “pro”
Enjoyable to watch with giggles and wiggles
Kids with baskets, parents joyfully mingle

This morning I woke up at seven
It is a beautiful day, almost like heaven
It is indeed Easter, Sunday Glorious Day
But my bunny had my eggs and I didn’t see him today

(04-2007)

Rain

He made you smile
You like his style
Wish you’ll deny
But girl, no need for me to pry

Invisible to your eyes
Your heart’s as cold as ice
The time keeps passing by
Oh girl, a chance to let me try

Rain, wash away my pain
She’ll never feel the same
She’ll never say my name
But my love still remains

I’ve waited by the bay
You didn’t saved the day
You broke my heart again
Alone there in the rain

Invisible to your eyes
Your heart’s as cold as ice
The time keeps passing by
Oh girl, I should never even try

Rain, wash away my pain
She’ll never feel the same
She’ll never say my name
But my love still remains

(04-2007)

Elements of Life

(Earth, Wind, Water and Fire)

Earth
“The substance of life”

A solid ground of what is
Evolution of what’s to be
Varied grains and textures
Diversified norms and measures
The pull of gravity that holds
And push of integral abode
Plateau of every human domain
Man’s belonging that soul proclaims


Wind
“The breath of life”

The inspirations of hope
The exhalation of doubt
Invisible moving cogitations
Dissipating memory reproductions
Worthiness in celebration of birth
Nothingness in the moment of death
The one that flows with destiny
With time, it begins and then ends



Water
“The balance of life”

Where buoyancy of honesty survives
Against the rhythms of notions surmised
Drops of blessing in hunger or drought
Tears of heaven in grief for the lost
Liquefied arrogance, softened heart
Madness incongruity, dissolving curse
The tides of emotions, streams of behavior
The rides in motion, dreams and endeavors


Fire
“The core of life”

Flames of passion
Blames on actions
Burnt marks of hurt
Glow of joy and courage
In darkness, the guiding light
In journey, the third eye’s sight
The blast of anger and hostility
The gist of kinship’s serenity

(05-2007)

The Cast of Her Shadow

Always there
Early to start the day
Following us around
Begging to be found

Almost within you
Every strikes of noon
Deceiving, yet visible
Deferring, unbeatable

Racing against the sunset
The image posts a bet
Getting ahead of the game
Daylight always its fame

Diffractions…
Causing distraction
Darkness can save
Sets peace to pave

Not the night to be over
Given time to uncover
Only this we can wallow
Without the cast of her shadow

(05-2007)

Deceptions and Perceptions

For the guys…

Don’t promise her the world
She just wants to hear your words
She doesn’t need your bank account
Just your love is what it counts

Not the highest mountain
But a treat from a soda fountain
Don’t recite a Shakespeare sonnet
Just speak of love, just as she wants it

Not all the stars that beyond her reach
Whispers in her ears is like the highest pitch
She doesn’t care for the wide blue sky
Just your soul be with her leaps her heart as high

Not the gold, not the money
Just be bold and call her honey
She doesn’t wish for a mansion or a palace
Just hug her each day, and this is a must

For the gals…

Don’t ask him for the world
Try to listen to his words
You don’t need his savings account
Isn’t his love all that counts?

He surely can’t bring you even half of a mountain
Just take a walk with him and watch the fountain
Don’t expect him to be a poet reciting all the Love Sonnet
His love though he can speak of, you must listen as he means it

Don’t aspire for stars or diamonds to inspire
If he whispers in your ear, you might turn to a “live wire”
Don’t ask for the sky, it’s your soul to take him there
You will know should you prefer as in his eyes it’ll appear


Don’t drool over gold nor demand for a “bling”
Not everything to be valid can be proven with a ring
Doesn’t matter if you live in a mansion or palace
Only with his hug, you’ll ever know how you could last

(04-2007)

Shoo! Hey! Hey!

Hey! I want to play
With you, if I may
“Shoo! Go away!”
Why, can’t I stay?
I love you as I say
Honey, make my day
A jolly good Sunday
Let’s sway and be gay
With colors of bouquet
C’mon, hey it’s okay
Kiss you, kiss me, nay
Just please let me stay
“Shoo! No way!”
Hey…hey, Oh, yes way!
Ok then I’ll move away
“Hey, Boo! Wait, wait, wait!”
“Just teasing, come let’s play!”
Hmph! Shoo! “Hey, please, hey!”

Photograph by Reema K
(06-2007)

Believe

Believe is all I ask of you
Even though, I’m not there with you
In me, you know I beg of you
Keep this heart, my love is all for you

REFRAIN
Believe in me as I believe in you
Grasp your faith as I kiss your doubts goodbye
I believe in you as you always live in me
Have the faith coz’ I’ll never say goodbye

Though lies may come in us surprise
If you hold on to, as fast it will just pass
Don’t ever let go, as I cling to you
Happiness is all I’ll bring to you

REFRAIN
Believe in me as I believe in you
Trust your fate but never say goodbye
I believe in you as you always believe me
Have the faith, if I die, it’ll be my last goodbye

Adlib
Trance of sweetest smile
To sense across the miles
Whispers in the wind
Singing through the brim

“Just believe ……each day I am with you”

©(02-2007)

(Digital art by: Nancy Bowen)

Your Eyes

You’re imposing with your smile so dazzling
On the water a “brightest” reflection of sun shining
Like a diamond streak on the creek that flows
You’re like a tree leaf that tickles in a second the wind blows

You laugh out loud at the jokes in a crowd
The loneliness you feel always in shroud
You dance your head in different direction
Choreography in purpose, to mask your desolation

But I am a friend, who would know you ‘til the end
The empty feeling that bends, even I can’t seem to mend
Your heart is big, still feel alone
Another one like yours may set it atone

I see your act for a play will sell
But I see your eyes I still can tell
They were bare and null, revealed your barren mind
They can’t justify your pretenses, despite of all the lines

The sadness that insisted in you
You only have it because you let it to
To sky you must now look up to
Your eyes to let it shine through

The tears you control, you successfully tanked inside
Through your eyes, let it flow, there’s no need for it to hide
Stop concealing the truth in your obsolete, absolute smile
Your eyes never lie, if you cry, it’ll be all worthwhile.

©(02-2007)
(Photographed by Reema K)

Where Are The Grannies?

First, I could get fired from my job for writing and posting this. More than a week ago, my beloved and I were having this conversation about huge changes coming up on health care industries. I was throwing out all my frustrations in his ears about all the “craps” going on where I work (sorry, I can’t think of a better statement to describe my disgust). I have been working for a 24- hour Skilled Nursing Facility in Southern California for over 15 years and through all these times I’ve witnessed how the purpose of these facilities transformed from giving the highest quality of patient care to how much Medicare reimbursement will be collected. Aside from the ways these profitable hospitals and nursing homes are getting accustom to, the statistical data of client census based on Medical Conditions and age groups were remarkably modified as well. Way back on 1990, I was working as a caregiver in a residential home in Oakland, California and I can honestly say that it wasn’t really an easy job to provide care services for 28 residents with individual demands and different level of assistance needed but regardless, I really enjoyed it. Back then, the facility residents were mostly geriatrics and the biggest challenge for me was giving them and the best care they obviously deserve and providing the homelike atmosphere while being away from their families. After a year, I moved to Southern California, and began working at higher level of care facilities which most people called nursing homes. I worked from clerical assistance to managing the Health Information Department. Within my first five years of working for a skilled nursing facility, the atmosphere was not really different from the way it was on residential care facilities where I have also worked for; we have older patients occupying 80% of the total census population who usually were admitted with Diagnoses of Uncontrolled Diabetes or Hypertension, History of CVA (stroke), Early Stage of Dementia which impaired their ability to care for themselves, Congestive Heart Failure, Incontinence of Urine and Feces, Seizure Disorder, Cancer, Renal Failure requiring Peritoneal or Hemodialysis, Altered Level of Consciousness, Colostomy Status and Dehydration or Malnutrition where they require Gastrostomy Feeding, TPN or IV hydration. I saw nurses who have gotten into enjoyable conversation with them while care was provided. The paper works the staff was doing were concise yet never get them in serious troubles with the health department inspections. Their time was significantly utilized mostly on their patients, which was why we hardly had complaints from them or their families. Now, it is very disappointing to see how this grandeur focus was shifted to making money and “getting away” with it. The geriatric population is now diminishing and the increasing number of younger residents with History of Drug Abuse and Alcoholism became so overwhelming. Now, we are dealing with clients of 45 years of age and below, mostly with Severe Mental Illnesses with Bizarre and Sexually Inappropriate Behaviors, AIDS, Hepatitis, History of Tuberculosis, and Withdrawal Syndromes. Truthfully, they were inappropriately placed in nursing homes but because all of them have Medicare coverage (God knows how they got those) they became “patients” who required 24 hour nursing care. The government imposes regulations after regulations which squeeze the proprietors and administration for Federal OBRA, Health and Safety Code, HIPAA and Title 22 (State) compliance. Do they really care about the services rendered? NO! They only passed these laws because they knew that most healthcare facilities won’t be able to follow through all these guidelines so then they can most likely issue citations for violations that would cost the owners thousand of dollars on penalties. Here is where the question of “Which really comes first, the egg or the chicken?” becomes appropriate. Evaluating the situation, which one really caused the nursing homes failure to operate the way they were intended for? Is it the legislation that keeps on imposing laws for supposedly implementation of “higher standards of care” via scary inspections on facilities for “higher fines”? Or is it the nursing home administrations that focus more on profit while overlooking the goal to provide care? Either one of them or both is responsible, although I know for sure who suffer the most in this dilemma, the NURSES. I see them taken away from what they were taught in nursing school. They become a lot more exposed to huge liabilities and abuse allegations while not getting sufficient supports from their employers, which may also put their licenses on jeopardy (where lawyers mostly feast on) while getting their brains more twisted off dealing with more psychiatric than medical conditions while lacking proper trainings on such. They give more hours within their shifts on chart documentation to show “proof of compliance” and “higher reimbursements” rather than getting involved with their patients’ activities of daily living and health needs. Now while writing this, I just remembered this Warner Bros. cartoon character, Yosemite Sam after being defeated by Bugs Bunny in their little battle saying, “If you can not beat them, join them.” Perhaps I would prefer, “If I can’t swallow their water, I must spit it out.”

Poetry in Controversy

The argument of whether a “free verse”, (commonly known as free form poetry), must be considered a method of writing poetry or not has been going on way before the 19th century. Poets from England like Aldington have stated that free verse poetry was not insisted as the only way of writing poetry but fighting for it as principle of liberty. On the other hand, Robert Frost considered it as playing tennis without a net. The use of blank verse poetry, which was popular in Shakespeare’s works, was even a more considerable form of poetry than free verse. Prose poetry, which was originated in France, was also argued upon as to whether it is a form of poetry or prose. T. S. Eliot even wrote “No verse is free for a man who wants to do a good job.” (I’m so glad; we didn’t belong to the same generation). I’ve been told by some other writers who have studied English and Literature that my “pieces” do not follow such guidelines for writing poems. It is so true that whenever I write something, I don’t, as matter of fact never count my syllables nor restrict the length of my lines. Some experts might even ask if they are real poems or some chants for fun. So I, being the curious Rogie (not George, the monkey), I surfed the internet for forms of writing (while I was taking a break from my Mathematics review, thanks God I still have my head on the right place). I also sought the advice of a gifted writer of Blog Writers Artists Network and this is what he said to me, “When you write, do not worry about what others think, just write. We are story tellers, word smiths and dream weavers. Tell the story. Let if flow out of the pen and onto the paper.”

“An artist/ writer is any one who does not just make a creative masterpiece, but also appreciate the “work” of another regardless of the way an art was created; after all it is someone’s expression” - Rogie

Today

Hark! Thy wish to love thee now
You vanished for days and nights, so how?
Though sensed through words so strong, you speak
“Be mine, my princess, the one I seek”

“Believe my heart, it lives for you”
Your soul that begs, the mists of two
The vision so vivid, of face not known
The flesh, no form; the character has shown
On knees, to err, then forgiveness you plead
The sun has risen, my wound still bleed
The promise was made, in your memory got lost
In the game you played, I’m the prey, you’re the host

My name is treasure, a flower, a myth
In the winds you call, though your voice in fleet
The absences of regard, in the length I reckon
Each time a chance, I remained on the second

Oh! Your wish is to love you, but how?
In my dreams to be gone, in my eyes to see you now
As strong as my words, as I speak, you to hear
Hypocrisy be wasted, true prince is what I seek

To live in my heart, to believe that you’re true
In the midst of my soul, details of you too
Imagine no more, the feature shall be known
The grasp of your nature, full substance in tone

May I be the treasure, “exotic” you keep?
Speak of my name, as I lay to my sleep
Say the nice today; bring the love while I live
Pass up the chance; I’ll be gone in a second

©(03-2007)

Don't Miss The Point

A freedom you abused
The intelligence you misused
You ignored the message
Sunday’s sermon in the sewage

Back to your old ways
Habit that always pay
In and out of the joint
You always missed the point

Walking like a zombie
One can’t imagine you want to be
Hanging by the thread
Begging for a piece of bread

For a minute of felicity
In the heart of the city
Every night you were there
You’re the king, the master player

You never heard the call
Until in misery you fall
Doesn’t matter if you toss the coin
You already missed the point

Walking like a zombie
You never imagine you could be
Dreadfully, you wished you are dead
Rather than beg for a piece of bread

You pardon, you beg and you call
Summons to His home as the bells toll
It matters to Him if you will join
You’re one of His own is actually His point.

©(03-2007)

Glitch

You got up one morning
Pushed the button and start brewing
To a bowl, you poured some cereal
Dang! A carton with no milk

In a corner you get to the store
You got no cash, the bank could’ve more
After punching your 8-digit pin
Your card was kicked out of an ATM machine

You got no milk, no cash, you’ve overdrawn
Back to your home, in a minute grabbed the phone
After being held for half an hour by the teller
All he can say is “So sorry, you need to speak with the manager.”

You’re getting anxious, frustrated and irritated
In the end she said you’re wiped out, and they’ll investigate
After you hanged, you figured out you don’t have a gas
You’re car won’t run, you have to dig for a year old bus pass

You’re in dismay; you’ve travelled a mile inside your house
When you realize you’re tired, you just slumped down on the couch
In a while, at the door your co-worker came by
Sent the bad news, the company was closed ‘til someone gets to buy

You can’t believe it, less than a day you’re out of luck
You’re getting confused; getting angry, you’re life just sucks
You question God, “Why me and why now?”
To turn around, to work this out, you asked “Him” how?

The voice in your head, speaks to you when you’re asleep
“Lift up your hands, cast the burden if your faith is as deep”
“Just do your best, and you must know, I’ll do the rest”
You woke up, to face the glitch, you know now you’ll stand the test

©03-2007

Beloved

The hand I always hold
To him, my arms enfold
His eyes where mine behold
With specks of mysteries untold

His lips so warm and soft
To kiss and discover what’s of
The firmness of arms around me
My soul’s secured, as always be

To his ears I’ll sing enchanting odes
Lyrics and chants, in hypnotizing mode
To him I offered the exotic goddess gift
Bring forth thy spirit be with mine as we lift

The love that he gives, that I keep so sublime
In his life, I’m a queen, always in prime
To him, the promise I ever long to give
To beloved I belong as long as I live

©(03-2007)

Take Me By The Hand

In a place you call paradise
You will take me before the sun rise
Grab my hand and show me which way
I’m ready to go, with you I will stay

Let’s start to fly, with our arms enfold
Trace the rainbow arch, guide to the pot of gold
Come taste the tarts, the goddess has served
And swallow the sap, so sweet like marmalade

Waltzing to the peak, to the heights, we embraced
Stop, we must not, hastily to the welcoming band
Atop, as one, we celebrated our bond
On our way back to the loft, come take me by the hand

©(03-2007)

Many But One

So many jokes that I laughed about
Many tears that I have cried, too
More than once love have broken my heart
Now I’m asking myself, should I ever do again

Though many places I have gone around
My life still seems unending merry-go-round
I couldn’t really tell why and how I’ve started
Nor I couldn’t tell where and when should I stop

Many years I have learned to live a life and love
Memories of them all, now the only things that I have
Many of good and some that were bad
I passed it and survived, shouldn’t I be glad?
If only I got to listen to opinions of too many
The many joys I’ll have will be as much errors to be sorry
Though from too many faces indeed can be a date
But should I ever belong to the one and only mate

So many jokes, so silly I still laugh at
Some many times, so childish I still cry
More than enough, never again my heart to be broken
Because now that it’s healed, sturdy and can love again

There will be many places I will be going around to
My life’s gonna be alright, riding roller coasters too
For this time I know when shall I start
The world is revolving and I know I shouldn’t stop

In many years to encounter, more to live and love
To engulf more experiences, share memories that I’ll have
The goods to be treasured the most, lessons to learn from the bad
To heal and survive, I know I must be glad

If only I got to listen to my own bosom’s whisper
There’ll be nothing to be sorry, pure joy to remember
No need to select from faces to get a date
To a one true soul mate, only I will ever belong to

©(02-2007)

I Just Do Not Know

I didn’t know why we met
Could be coincidence, or a destiny God set

I didn’t know how we got this closer
But I do know I won’t trade you for another

I may have hurt you for one day
But your anger got in the way.

Now I don’t know how to mend you
Or how much sorry should I send you.

I don’t know how you could say I am so darn missed by you.
For now that I am back, seeing me didn’t occur to you.

It hurt not to know why you wouldn’t talk to me
You wouldn’t listen anymore and always walking out on me.

I don’t know how to cheer you up.
I feel like giving you up.

I may not know where this is going to…
But I still knew what this friendship has gone through...

I just don’t understand why you want to waste it
Am I really that bad, that you now seem to hate it

I wish I could do some magic about it.
I don’t know what to do, how I must rekindle it

Wonder if you still want us to be friends
Be together sometime, call me up and shake hands

Though the answer may be not
I still love you no matter what

©(02-2007)

Nine

I remember those days
In that hospital bed I lay
Anxious, scared and excited
In my small heart all impacted

Never in my life, I ever felt alone
Up were giant spotlights and busy irritating phones
I was out there by the hallway, on a stretcher I lay
Restless footsteps, swinging doors banging, surgeons on their way

I never been this afraid, so left out when I was nine
On my way to the OR the doctor said “You’ll be fine”
Finally I was pushed into a “heaven-like”, white room
All I hear were clinks, clanks, hisses and pooms!

The excruciating pain from the surgery I’ve gone through
In the recovery room, with my Mom who was in tears too
The kindness and love, her kisses and caresses
The feelings of loneliness, this time just ceases

Never in my life, again I will feel so alone
Life is full of surprises, obstacles and repairs
If I have survived the pain when I was nine
Then nothing else can be scary ‘til I reach ninety-nine.

©(03-2007)

If...Then

If I have gone another way from the north,
Then I wouldn’t have met you, here down in south
If I have stayed in the west and you in the east,
Then you wouldn’t have seen me nor would I have seen you.

But since things occurred a certain way, our paths have crossed and we actually met.
If only I haven’t smiled at you, then you wouldn’t have said “Hi” to me.
And with this simple greet, our minds commit.
With some simple talks, our friendship works.

If I haven’t asked you for a walk,
Then maybe, all we’ve got is just talk.
And if we haven’t gotten a spark that night,
Then you wouldn’t have kissed me just right.

But since these things have actually happened,
And the feelings that we’ve had sort of deepened
No matter how hard to stop it,
We both know one of us got to drop it.
Just so you know, even though I’ve done it.
It hurt me so bad, that I couldn’t forget it.

If you have stayed where you were,
Then we wouldn’t have seen each other and remembers
If we haven’t started talking again,
We wouldn’t have recovered, no history rewind.

But because of the longest talks, our story cycle revolved
The buried feelings surfaced and evolved
Only this time, it is stronger to place.
Another test of time, another one harder to face

And since all of these things started to trouble us in between
The feelings we had before, deep as always been
No matter how hard to stop it,
We both know one of us got to drop it.
Even though I understood why you have done it,
It still hurt me that I couldn’t forget it.

©(11-2005)

Foolish Mind

(Inspired by the Lyrics of “Foolish Heart” by Steve Perry)

I need a love to grow
And I want it of course I know
With every passing hour
You are somehow
Will be here and ready to share

You need my love be strong
And we’re not alone anymore
And let these lonely hearts play the part
And be fool once again
Let it begin

Foolish mind, you’re always calling
And stops this heart before it falls in
Foolish mind let it warm in
If to love is wrong
Then I want to be wrong again

I’m feeling this feeling again
In the game only true can win
Love’s knocking on the door
Of our hearts once more
I think I’ll let in
Let the love begin

Foolish mind, please stop calling
Let this heart start from falling
Foolish mind, don’t need your warning
True love can’t be wrong
Or let me be wrong again…

©(02-2007)

Door

In my peaceful night
Of tea and nightlight
You came by at midnight
Pound my door with all your might

When I didn’t take a peek
You tap my window so quick
When I look through my blinds
You begged me with open arms

You called my name a hundred times
You beat the clinks of my wind chime
When I finally open it wide
You paced around and stayed in my yard

“Do you really want to come in?”
You just stare at me with your mind seem crammin’
“Do you really want to come in?”
Make up your mind before I start freezing.
“Do you really want to come in?”
Take a step towards me,Or this door to shut forever be….”

©(02-2007)

One More Chance

In a moment of bliss
That I remembered your kiss
I hear your whispers every night
In the darkness, you’re always my light.

In despair of seeking for you
You were gone, my world is blue
My heart yearns with so much pain
In my memories you always remain.

In my mind, my writings in reams
I always see you clearly
In my dreams, true hope it seems
So real, I wake too weary

Another day to feel your touch
Is the day, I will love you too much
One more chance to be with you
I will hold you and will never let go.

…One more chance is all I ask…..

©(02-2007)

The Writer's Plea

Meaningful mind in rhyming phrases
Overflowing emotions reflected on pages
Seem so endless expressions of sentiments
His words indeed so permanent like testaments.

The words ran out, the ink went dry
He got nothing to say but a sigh and cry
The thoughts could no longer be sought
He’s now in dismay, he is now too distraught

Sure his heart’s still beating
But his music lost the rhythm
The “works” no more make sense
To him his life better now ends

He lost his love, and so his faith
Will he able to stay? Is this his fate?
If only his love could ever survive
Amidst of all the pain he’ll be able to thrive

He prays, he begs, he pleads
All he possessed in exchange of love
There he is, for hours on his knee
Bring back the light so again he would see

To enrich his soul, he wanted the love
To moisten the soil, freeing the caged dove
It’s the one he asks, all that he should have
Inspiration to recollect, to keep his words alive

Will he be heard?
Will he be granted?
He stared at his desk, gazed on the mirror
From there a man he saw, disoriented in rigor

He prays, he begs, he pleads
His possessions for the one He loves
Once again to feel, to touch, and unite
The light, his love, to be able to write.

©(02-2007)

I'm Glad I Have You

Everyday is a glorious day
One thing to be thankful of
The gift of life, of tears and laughter
The breath of hope and everlasting joy.

Who can I turn to when things go wrong?
And everything seems so out of places?
Isn’t it a friend, the Lord has given?
A shoulder to cry on and ears that listens too?

In this happy, glorious day
One being to be thankful about
One true gift through tears and laughter
Who breathe with you in joy and hope in times of sadness

I'm glad that I have you….

©(02-2007)

Hear Me

If all my words are jamming up in my head,

Who can I speak of them to?
When all my writings are piled up in reams
Who am I going to read them for?

The others’ eyes got tired of reading
And still won’t get the real meaning
For only you can keep me dreaming
The only one who sees me crying

Now that you were gone
My works here are all done
I have no more words to say
Got no more songs to sing

All of my desires got frozen in time
You left me without saying goodbye
My thoughts, my feelings are buried in lime
Got stuck for ages as time passes by

Hear my plea, hear me cries
This heart of mine, in sorrow dies
To see you again is a joy to begin
Another day with you, I will be born again

©(02-2007)

Just A Day

Sweet morning dew, smiling rising sun.
Joyful feelings, mind so clear
Inspired day of mine, troubles missed the time
Just a day knowing I have someone like you.

Yes you, who read my notes
You who listen to my unbearable songs
Who always say goodnight and sweetest dreams
Someone that always remember I exist

©(02-2007)

Sir David

How could you touch this young heart of mine?
How could you make me look at those I refused most to see?
How could you make me listen to the truth as you speak?
How could you be so truthful when the world is so naïve?

In my life I came across to one garaged poet,
He’s stuffed with empathy, honesty and ‘oh’ so much more
The once only enjoyable “past-time chatterbox”,
Now something to look forward to, a talking encyclopedia

As much as he knows is as much as he shares
As much as he talks, he listens even more.
He knows the Latin, the Irish, and the Greek
They don’t matter at all, his words are always strong

What an honor to meet an exceptional man
I call him my teacher, my mentor, a friend.
Now I know the answers to all my confusions
Because I was so inept, through him I got a purpose

Talking to him is like living in a library
Missing him for a day is like being absent in school
And no matter how high the ambiguity may be
His heart is huge and a real down to earth.

I understand now, why he opened my heart
Empower my visions and uplift my consciousness
To God I thank my destiny included him
Meeting a man like David is surely I can call a blessing

©(02-2007)

3000 Miles

Damn these 3000 miles in between us
Always keeping me awake while you are sound asleep
Your siesta moments are my working hours
When you wake up in the morning
I’m just about to dream

Damn this distance between us
It will cost us “Benjamin’s”
Just to have a dine with dancing
Wish I have wings I will just fly to you
Wish you have your fins; you’ll then swim to me

Damn this mountains, valleys and oceans between us
I can’t taste your white lasagna
I can’t dance your music samba
I couldn’t hug you, squeeze so tight
You couldn’t kiss me before we say goodnight

Damn these space dividers
Feelings, thoughts in lines and lyrics
All we could was read and write
The only good thing about theses 3000 miles
I can write even more while waiting for you…

©(02- 2007)

My Child

I dream of having a child
In my likeness, from God’s pure breath
I dream of holding it tight
In my arms, from my heart’s true love

I dream of raising a child
To a man in the image of God
It’s a gift of everlasting faith
In my life, he’s always be

I dream of having my child
Whom I’ll give my unselfish love
My baby will love me as much
As God loves us both.

©(01-2007)

We Forgot

Life becomes so hard
Because people forget to love
They focus on what they want
More on what to have

God’s heart is bleeding
Though we are always his children
And He will love us all
Whether we’re good or bad even

©(01-2007)

Thank You

Thank you for all the good times
When things are unpleasant at times
Thank you for cheering me up
When my spirit is full of stir-ups

Thank you for the kindness and love
Even though there’s nothing for you to have
Thank you for being such a good friend
To me you are heaven sent

Thank you for listening
For the joy and the warmth you’re bringing
You have given rhythm to my music
And made sense to my lyrics

Thank you for then times you have spent
Never taken them for granted for they always preciously meant
With you I feel protected, and knew will never be rejected
And because of that, I could never thank you enough.

But tonight, I am very sad
Thinking one day we have to part
When the day I will depart
The memories of you, I’ll carry in my heart.

So now, I wanted you to know
How grateful I truly am for what you’ve shown
I wish I could stay as good for tomorrow
But it will bring us sorrow as my feelings started to grow.

So my friend, I truly am thankful for you.
Thank you for just being you….
Thank God for you…
Thank you and I’ll always love you…

©(11-2005)

You're My Elvis

Every night I sit here,
Awaiting your voice to hear
Everyday I think of you
I want to say I love you.

But each hour had passed
And time flies so fast.
With me just to sit here and yearns
Them hours seem like years.

After I haven’t heard from you,
I began to wonder what I have done to you.
I kept thinking of what might have troubled you
I really don’t know what have bothered you.

I miss you so bad, my mind crazes
I love you too much, my heart aches
Please tell me Darling not to worry so much
That I haven’t done any bad and you love me as much.

I love you true now and forever
Have faith in me I will cheat you never
My affection is divine and my intention is pure
If you are ill, my kiss is your cure.

Love me tender, good and true
Make my dreams fulfill
“For my darling, I love you
And I’ll always…..will”

©(12-2006)

And Nothing Else Matters

Your love for me is all that matters
With your tender kiss
With you warm embrace

Like the excitement of the sun beckoning
Over the green valleys and deep blue sea
Like the kiss of the morning mist
And the hug of the cool calm night

My love for you will always last
Like eternity of life even in afterlife
So come my love and feel my heart
Come kiss my lips and read my eyes

For in this material world you are my wealth
My expensive jewel and everlasting possession
My feelings for you are the most precious
Believe it or not, I am most gracious

Just love this heart that’s so pure and true
With your tender kiss and your warm embrace
Remember this all your life even when I’m gone
What matter most to me will be nothing but YOU

©(12-2006)

Now That I've Found You

I’ve been searching for so long
One true friend to tag along
Someone I can share
Of things that I really care

I’ve been searching everywhere
One soul that will be fair
Who would love me ‘til the end of time
A ”one” I can keep as mine.

I’ve been searching in every face that I see
Honesty and truthfulness to me
Hearing the words they say
Listening to their hearts as I pray

For the longest time I have searched for “you”
I wished to find a man with his love so true
For me to think of always
To love, cherish in so many ways,

Then one day while I was searching,
There you were so I started reachin’
You turned around and sees me,
Then said you love me then kissed me.

I want to believe my search is over
That you can be the last leaf of my clover
You made my heart leap and pound oh so loud
My old nimbus day was now shining, brightest cloud

So here you are standing, on my face you’re staring
Your eyes are talking and lips are inviting.
In my thoughts, all I could want is to kiss you endlessly
My body and soul be with you, only you so lovingly.

While your word convinces, your action amazes
The pure joy I feel to me will always stay
You’re the most loving, romantic lover I could have.
A true friend is you and you’re the one I will truly love.

Tonight as I pray, I thank the Almighty GOD
For giving me a beautiful person, the best I could ever have.
With you, finally, my search is over and done.
Now I wish that I would always be your ONLY ONE.

©(12-2006)

My Pledge

Oh, what a wide blue sky
For one bird to fly
Atop the hill, we unwind
So just to clear our troubled minds

Whenever you doubt that I would lie
You make me pout, even make me cry
So please believe for I will not deny
As long as I love, you know you can rely.

You feel inside, you always hide
Is it for real, or is it your pride
I wish I could always be at your side
I’ll be your angel, to be your guide

Now looking out on that bright blue sky
But I am not a bird, I couldn’t fly
But one thing I’ll do even time passes by
I will care for you ‘til the day I die

©(11-2005)

LEND YOUR EARS

Few weeks back, I've heard from a family friend that his cousin, age 18, had committed suicide. Anyone who knew "Joseph", such as I, could not believe that he ended his own life with a click of a devil's toy in his head. "What? No, not Joseph... It's impossible...And where the hell did he get that gun? Did he really kill himself? No…not Joseph. It can’t be." Those who heard about this incident had asked these exact same questions. I've seen Joseph in every family party we had and attended to. Ahhh, Joseph, a very babbly, almost annoying boy who laughs out loud and buys dry jokes. Even so, he would come to every guest coming to the door and greet them politely. The day he died, he sent this text message to his mother's cell phone,{I LOVE YOU, MOM}, about an hour before she reached home from work where she found her son half seated, half-lying on his bed with blood all over his pillows and bed spread. God, we didn't really know why. Not even his own mother, who was still mourning from her husband's (Joseph's father) recent death seemed to know why her son could have done such a thing. She was really clueless.
Did Joseph get short coping with his grief over his father’s sudden death? Maybe, Could be. He was with him the day he died. They were in the freeway northbound 405, on their home with his father driving when he suddenly lost consciousness, and Joseph had to garb the steering wheel and crossed his left leg over his to step on the brake. The paramedics pronounced him dead before reaching the hospital. The autopsy ruled out Brain Aneurysm. All this happened about a couple of months ahead his suicide.
Was it gang-related issues involving drugs or alcohol? Maybe, Could be. But should this be true, it's going to be even more surprising since Joseph mostly hanged-out with his cousins when not at home after schools or during school breaks.
Was he “crazy”, or have any Psychiatric problems? Maybe. Could Be. For one thing, he may be really depressed and if he was, Oh, Boy! He was really good at hiding it. Crazy? Not sure. Aren’t we all are?
A lot more theories have played the minds of the people surrounding his life. I've been thinking about him for days and weeks after his death. As a matter of fact I still am thinking about him. I have posted blogs about this incident in my other groups too, but never get to details such as this one. I was wondering if he ever tried to talk to anyone about his feelings or concerns, or if the person he tried to speak to ever paid a little more attention or give another hour to listen. Then maybe, just... maybe he will still be around. Sometimes, when people came to us and started talking about some problems we got sour, obviously, we have our own “baggage” to carry too and we don’t want to be bothered more by hearing someone else's. Its human nature and we are not perfect. But we should feel blessed if someone comes to us and trust us enough to confide in us. Why? Because then we should know that we are to be chosen by God as his instrument for someone in need and wanted to reach out. Lending your ears can make a difference to someone's life. Looking through someone's eyes can also be another way to know the truth. Not all honesty can be revealed in words. Joseph's death reminded me of a poem I wrote two months ago when I saw my girlfriend’s “supposedly happy picture”. Her eyes from that photograph got my attention, they were saying something else.

YOUR EYES
By: Rogelita Jimenez (Angelika)
©(02-2007)


You’re imposing with your smile so dazzling
On the water a “brightest” reflection of sun shining
Like a diamond streak on the creek that flows
You’re like a tree leaf that tickles in a second the wind blows

You laugh out loud at the jokes in a crowd
The loneliness you feel always in shroud
You dance your head in different direction
Choreography in purpose, to mask your desolation

But I am a friend, who would know you ‘til the end
The empty feeling that bends, even I can’t seem to mend
Your heart is big, still feel alone
Another one like yours may set it atone

I see your act for a play will sell
But I see your eyes I still can tell
They were bare and null, revealed your barren mind
They can’t justify your pretenses, despite of all the lines

The sadness that insisted in you
You only have it because you let it to
To sky you must now look up to
Your eyes to let it shine through

The tears you control, you successfully tanked inside
Through your eyes, let it flow, there’s no need for it to hide
Stop concealing the truth in your obsolete, absolute smile
Your eyes never lie, if you cry, it’ll be all worthwhile.

Defense VS Offense

At work, I got involved in a 30-minute lunch break discussion at the employees' lounge. The topic is about how one can protect herself/ himself from any possible STD's (Sexually Transmitted Disease) if you are seriously involved with someone you love. Ok, here is how it started... Luis, our maintenance personnel shared his supposedly "love story" with us. He met his girlfriend at a birthday party 6 months ago. Obviously, after few weeks of "getting to know" stage, they upgraded the relationship to the "getting familiar" stage. In the beginning, they were practicing safe sex by using "raincoats" (lol). Eventually, when so much familiarity and trust has been established, they care less about using protection. Why? Everyone knows that the ultimate pleasure in sex is highly achievable with “bare skin”. So much so, some believe that absolute belongingness can be proven with total fusion without any presence of barrier. Some, may just simply say, it meant nothing but ignorance. Wait, that wasn't really the climax of the story. Now, here is why the topic got too steamy. Aside from working at our facility, Luis also owns a plumbing business. There were times when he couldn't get to see his girlfriend for weeks which sometimes become an issue between them. Luis got upset when his girlfriend, who is a nurse, asked him for "clearance". He said, "I am not taking any friggin' needle-stick for some embarrassing tests just to satisfy her damn curiosity." He also began questioning her loyalty and trust. After our few exchanges of views, he surprisingly agreed to take the test. As a matter of fact, he said they might take the STD test together. Are you wondering what I told him?
There is only one thing you need to avoid STD……common sense. I remember once my Physics teacher in college told our class, “Commons sense is a sense that is not common.” For instance, there are only 2 ways of which one can avoid getting STD’s. The first one is called “fasting” (no sex at all). Ok I can hear a lot of complaints already (“Oh, hell no, that can’t be possible!” Well, the other way is practice safe sex. Common sense, isn’t it? Now, does asking your partner to take an STD clearance tests can be really offensive? Of course, it can be but I don’t disagree with it. It’s not a breach of trust or question of love. It’s a practical method and acceptance that human is susceptible to human error. How are you going to protect yourself? However, the way to get your partner to agree with you with the clearance tests must be taken in consideration as well. It can be effective if instead of asking him or her to get one, you explain the benefits of knowing what you have or don’t have by simple tests and the risks as well of not knowing them at all. It will also be just fair to get both of you, sex participants, tested instead of pushing your partner to get tested while convincing you don’t need one.
Most STD’s are irreversible such as AIDS, Syphilis, Drug-resistant Gonorrhea and Herpes. Combined Antibiotics may keep some of them on dormant stages but won’t be able to remove or clear them completely and may also get chances of recurrence. Some anti/retrovirals can only suppress the risk of transmission or slow down the progression of the disease but again won’t be able to cure it. So be defensive, it won’t matter if you will sound offensive, as long as you stay healthy and safe.